Starfleet Phaser Compression Rifle User's Manual
by PWhitehead
Summary: Um... what more can I say? Oh! It's a (spoof) User's Manual for the Starfleet Phaser Compression Rifle.


Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek - Paramount Pictures does. To prove this, simply watch 'Genesis' (TNG). If I owned Star Trek, there would not be that many plot holes.  
  
Introduction: After watching a few security personnel get zapped by the Klingons/Romulans/Cardassians/Jem'Hadar/Crazed Bajoran Fanatics, I decided it was time someone showed them how to use the rifles they kept missing the attackers with.  
  
This is Voyager-era, BTW.  
  
Oh, and feel free to review/flame/tell me about your pets.  
  
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Standard Issue Phaser Rifle User's Manual  
  
Starfleet document TAC-45789-4-2366/A  
  
Assembled in Bolarus  
  
Introduction  
  
Congratulations on your purchase of the Federation Standard Phaser Compression Rifle. This rifle is designed for maximum accuracy and ease of use, while allowing many different types of fire mode.  
  
This is the weapon of choice for Starfleet marines and Starship security personnel.  
  
Features:  
  
* Twelve power levels  
  
* Enhanced sniper zoom mode  
  
* Moulded grips  
  
* High capacity power pack  
  
* Sturdy, water and radiation resistant design  
  
Phaser Compression Rifle parts:  
  
Phaser trigger - standard push button mounted on weapon hand grip.  
  
Scope - With enhanced zoom. Use to acquire your target.  
  
Recharge port - Used to recharge the weapon from a Standard Federation Energy Transfer Port.  
  
Overload trigger - Used to set a countdown to detonation, resulting in near- catastrophic energy release.  
  
Power level selector - allows quick changes to be made to the power levels.  
  
* 1 - Light stun: Incapacitates humanoids for an average of five minutes, depending on health and species.  
  
* 2 - Medium stun: Incapacitates humanoids for a longer period of time.  
  
* 3 - Heavy stun: Incapacitates humanoids for up to 24 hours. Lethal at short range.  
  
* 4 - Kill setting 1: Effective only through thin/normal clothing. More likely to injure if not aimed at head.  
  
* 5 - Kill setting 2: Effective through average body armour. May require several shots.  
  
* 6 - Kill setting 3: Effective through heavy body armour or minimal personal shielding.  
  
* 7 - Kill setting 4: Effective through most personal shielding devices.  
  
* 8 - Kill setting 5: Effective through virtually all armour and personal shielding devices.  
  
* 9 - Vaporise: Will vaporise humanoids and most metals. Effective against shuttlecraft.  
  
* 10 - Sniper mode: Silent, pencil-thin beam. Vaporises target. Energy intensive.  
  
* 11 - Heat mode: Use to heat rocks, metals etc.  
  
* 12 - Maximum setting: Causes widespread destruction within 100m radius. Drains power pack completely. Use with caution.  
  
Note: Each power level uses different amounts of energy. The standard charge is 300 units.  
  
1 - 1 unit  
  
2 - 2 units  
  
3 - 3 units  
  
4 - 10 units  
  
5 - 15 units  
  
6 - 20 units  
  
7 - 25 units  
  
8 - 30 units  
  
9 - 50 units  
  
10 - 75 units  
  
11 - 10 units per second  
  
12 - All available power  
  
Guide:  
  
This weapon should be used on dangerous away missions or by security personnel, not as a sidearm.  
  
As a rule, you should not use any setting higher than 2 on civilians, and no setting higher than 3 on hostiles unless given the order by your commanding officer. As well as providing prisoners for questioning and intelligence gathering, this policy does not upset the Federation News Media, whose reports affect day-to-day civilian opinion of the military.  
  
Do not open fire until your CO has given you the order to do so, unless in self-defence.  
  
After an away mission, you will be required to submit a detailed report if you have fired this weapon during said away mission. Punishments for misuse of a weapon can be severe, ranging from an official reprimand to long-term detention.  
  
Combat Guide:  
  
Point the rifle at the attacker. Press the trigger. (Phew! That was certainly a cerebral exercise!)  
  
Repair notes:  
  
All repairs, field repairs and upgrades should be undertaken by a qualified engineer under the supervision of a senior officer. No user serviceable parts inside.  
  
Guarantee:  
  
This weapon comes with a Starfleet lifetime guarantee, which will provide replacement or compensation if the rifle malfunctions. This guarantee does not cover damage by enemy action, accidental damage, damage incurred during an unauthorised repair/upgrade, or deliberate damage. Starfleet also accepts no responsibility for loss of life, earnings or property caused by the use, or inability to use, this weapon. 


End file.
